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Mickey Mouse and Animal Rights

15 Oct


Hi Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, For the last time, an elephant is not a viable tool! I mean who has that readily accessible? Not to mention the obvious infringement on elephants’ rights to just be elephants and not a tool to help Goofy find his damn shoe.

Take it easy, Fresh Direct

13 Oct

It’s only a cucumber. But, thank you so much, not only for crediting me the $1.78, but for always being there for me.

———- message ———-

To: FreshDirect Customer Service Team
Subject: [contact_us] Problem with an order I received

Hello! My cucumbers that I received yesterday were rotten when I unpacked them.

———- message ———-

Dear Apryl,

Thank you for contacting FreshDirect.

I want you to know how sorry I am that some perishable items in your order arrived in an unacceptable condition. Please know that quality control of our products is of maximum importance to us. We appreciate your taking the time to alert us of this situation. Our Merchandise Leadership Team is always here for you. Their job is all about your feedback. They are constantly reviewing our customers’ correspondence and taking action to fix every problem.

To make up for the unacceptable cucumbers, a store credit in the amount of $1.78 has been applied to your account. Look for our follow-up email within 48 hours, confirming that the credit has completed processing and is available for your use.

Again, thank you for telling us what happened and providing us with this opportunity to correct the problem. If you are not satisfied with our solution, or if you have any other concerns, please call us at (212) 796-8002. Or contact us directly by responding to this email.

And remember – you are our Number One priority!

Organics and Efficiency – Our Big Adventure Gets Underway

7 Aug


I imagined Rob and myself silently pulling into Deadwood, South Dakota road-weary, dusty, possibly wearing cowboy hats with horse-tail bands, in Eco mode, parking our energy-efficient hybrid vehicle next to a flatbed Ford and feeling like, well, like the jerks in the Prius….

Our Big Adventure is updated!

Since you’re here…

24 Jun

Since you’ve come here and I don’t have a whole lot of anything up yet, why not just say, hey or something and then I can bother you when I get my act together?