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What was the first car I owned, and how long did I have it?

2 Jul

I had a 1988 Pontiac Grand Am.  It was white and called Norman.  I decorated him with hippie stickers and vanillaroma Christmas tree air-fresheners.  He had no tape deck, just a radio, so I sometimes had a boombox in the back seat where I could play my Led Zeppelin/Steve Miller/Queen/Spin Doctors mix-tapes.  My grandfather,who played a big roll in teaching me to drive, (he once yelled at me for not using my blinker when turning into my driveway), called it “The Pown-tee-ax.”

This isn't my Norman. My Norman was a two-door.

I had Norman, the Pownteeax, from December of 1992 until roughly February of 1994. When I went to college, I had to leave the car at home.  My mom lent the car to a friend, an elevator repairman, who ran a red light and totaled Norman.  This incident began my long and unfortunate history with crap cars including:

The 1987 Nissan Sentra, crashed in Newark after a night at Alex Eng’s, the accident was not our fault, car totaled

The 1990 Geo Storm, named Rosie, a hatchback, went to many Grateful Dead shows, great for sleeping in, window apparently tasty to lick

The 1991 Acura Integra, traveled to Chicago, (my first road trip),  lived with me in Havana, IL on my first film job, eventually stolen outside of my house and left for dead in East Orange, NJ

The 1987 Honda Accord, given to me by the pilot, bottom dropped out once while leaving a film shoot, crew bungee corded my car together so I could get home

The 1990 Ford Taurus, former Lawn Doctor company car, tires melted to driveway after it died and sat for a year

The 1998 Acura Integra, inherited from little brother, present vehicle

Do I believe that forks are evolved from spoons?

30 Jun

No, I don’t.  I think our primal instinct is to stab stuff.  

We would have first created a stabby-tool.  Then, we would have realized we couldn’t eat soup with it.  Although, the spoon probably didn’t come along for many years.  We were  probably quite content to simply drink our soup until some jerk, probably a politician or missionary, said we needed to be refined, wear clothes, and not act like animals.  Thus, the spoon was invented, probably by melting down a fork.