Joker Fan Theory is a Laugh – I mean it’s funny, but not true

29 Aug

Okay, these “fan theories” (the Joker was a good guy, Daniel was the bad guy in Karate Kid) have got to stop. Admittedly, I enjoyed the Karate Kid interpretation. I thought it was funny, but it occurs to me that some may take these seriously. Yes, you can pick apart and project and bend the story and refocus particular plot points or scenes on the wrong objectives so that it seems to match your very flawed interpretation. But ultimately, these interpretations are just loosely woven bits and pieces taken out of context.

These “theories” have no actual evidence in the story that backs them up. The whole story has to be taken as evidence, too. What’s the goal of the story, of the characters? You just can’t say Daniel is the bad guy in the movie, because he acts as you expect bad guys to act in particular scenes.The movie isn’t written that way. He’s the protagonist. The one we root for.  You can sympathize with Johnny, maybe understand where he’s coming from, just like we can sympathize with the Joker because the storytelling is that good. We want to have conflicting emotions about our characters. However, to say that the construct of the movie is the complete the opposite of what it really is is wrong. The films don’t ultimately present that theory as the truth in the end.

Just like The Shining is not filled with clues to say that Kubrick filmed the fake moon landing. Theorizing about these things is like sitting around watching The Wizard of Oz on mute with Dark Side of the Moon playing. Sometimes it clicks, but man, that’s all just coincidence and craziness.

True Detective Toddler Crafts

27 Apr

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Maybe last year I would have loved these, but now I can only think they are a horrific warning. Because, True Detectives.

Truth is, I’ll probably make these anyway. Toddlerhood is a flat circle, after all.

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It’s really hard to shop for a grandmother.

8 Dec
Happy holidays. Thank you Shiner.

Happy holidays. Thank you Shiner.

Grammy: For Christmas, I want a hoodie. A cheap one. It doesn’t even have to have a hood…

Me: Well, hoodies generally have a hood.

Grammy: You can even give me one of yours that you’re not using.

Me: One of my old hoodies?
Grammy: Sure. With or without the hood.

Me: You want it to zip?

Grammy: Okay.

Me: You want a sweatshirt that zips with a hood.

Grammy: Right. Unless it’s cheaper without the hood…  or the zipper.

Me: Well, that’s just a sweatshirt.
Grammy: Well, whatever.

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The Little Engine That Could was a woman. Obviously.

8 Nov

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Mickey Mouse and Animal Rights

15 Oct

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Hi Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, For the last time, an elephant is not a viable tool! I mean who has that readily accessible? Not to mention the obvious infringement on elephants’ rights to just be elephants and not a tool to help Goofy find his damn shoe.

Awful Things: Babar the Little Elephant

20 Sep

Things I didn’t realize until just now:

Um… Babar and Celeste are cousins. I read this book over and over as a kid. but yesterday, I read it to my son and realized some things about The Story of Babar the Little Elephant. It has a number of weird/awful things happening in it – Babar’s mother gets shot by “vicious hunters,” we see a picture of a bleeding momma elephant, Babar is often grieving and cries when he thinks of her (omg heartbreaking!), he runs away and is taken in by a wealthy old lady who gives him anything he wants, his first order of business upon arriving in town is to cover his naked elephant body in a handsome green suit – but possibly weirdest/most awful of all is that he marries Celeste, his little cousin whom he takes in, buys fancy clothes, and ice cream for after she and her brother run away.

20130913-122918.jpgThis is kind of like my revelation, at age thirty, that Jack Tripper had to pretend to be gay around the Ropers so he could live with Janet and Chrissy. Wait. Right?? That was part if what Three’s Company was about, wasn’t it??

UPDATE: Yes. The internet agrees with me about Janet, Chrissy and Jack’s living arrangement.

Found: French class index card

17 Sep
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I have longs brune, ovale visage. I am mince et courts, malin, drole, franc.

I love the things I find from previous classes. One of college teaching’s great perks for a pack rat.

Here is Why I Like Necessary Fiction

16 Sep

I’m always lost when it comes to story submis20130912-214818.jpgsions, finding a home for my writing. It’s kind of like trying to find a home for a cat who pees on all my son’s toys because it is clear she dislikes him and hates living with us. (I have one of those by the way, do you want her??)

My stories are like these angry animals that have to leave my house, and if given to the right home, I know, I just know they’ll be sweet and sit on your lap and purr all day long. I read a lot of online literary journals, so choosing one where my work might be a good fit is a little overwhelming. So, I try to do some research.

I read an interview of Necessary Fiction‘s editor Steve Himmer at the blog Six Questions For (an excellent resource for this type of research), and I knew that my work might have a chance finding a home there. Himmer says:

I think of fiction as a way to make sense of how individual lives are woven in larger webs of nature and culture and science and history and everything else…

I think of fiction/living the same way. Writing is my way to make sense of the world.

He goes on to say:

I tend to prefer reflective stories, those that feel like a moment slowed down rather than stories overwhelmed by action. I like a story that asks me to linger and think about something rather than rushing me along.

I like that he says this. It’s a dangerous thing to say since the cardinal rule of fiction is that something must happen, some action, but, I have always been fond of those small, lingering moments in stories.

Additionally, this review of Necessary Fiction was helpful and very accurate!

(And also, now I like Necessary Fiction a little extra, because they accepted this story of mine!)

Possible candidates for Kite Flying Society….

12 Sep

I’m very excited and honored to have my story, Tonight, I Built a Kite up at Necessary Fiction!

Another Treasure From My Grandmother

13 Jul

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My grandmother must be cleaning out the “party supply” area of her house, because she has now bestowed upon me this pack of pink elephant swizzle sticks.

20130713-220342.jpgI’m not entirely clear what a swizzle stick is for, but I suppose that they will be a nice accessory to any of the fine cocktails I choose to make at my luau.